The Waiter Chronicles Survey: Are Those Real?

Every guest at the ristorante gets to see the dessert tray. It's a granite slab weighing about 15 pounds and dotted with silicon models of apple strudel, creme bruleee, and tiramisu, among other delectable delights.

The models were done by the owner's brother, and they're really good. So good, in fact, that often, instead of paying attention to me as I explain extol the culinary virtues of our Limoncello Parfait, guests fixate on the models themselves. Their heads cock to the side, their ears perk up, and their eyes turn into swirling spirals. Often, someone will just reach over and touch one of the models.

Inevitably, someone breaks the silicon spell and asks, "Are those real?"

I want your best reaction to that scenario, either the touching of the models or the question, "are those real?" (just to let you know a couple I've already seen tried: taking a model off the tray and throwing it onto the table; screaming, "No! Don't touch that!")

The answer that makes me laugh the loudest wins.