Sunday, March 2, 2008

Portrait of A Saint

john walker | 6:44 AM | Be the first to comment!
One of my first ventures as Associate Pastor is to lead a Lenten small group called, "Writing As A Spiritual Practice." We're doing writing exercises together on Sunday mornings, trying to write a little bit every day on our own, and experimenting every week with different "spiritual" compositions.

One such experiment is to write a description of a "saint."

Here is my crack at that testy little genre.

Portrait of a Saint
Rooms opened up with him in them, and there were no strangers. His broad, bearded smile swallowed centuries of fear. Owing to his religiosity, religion fell apart in his presence; his sturdy citizenship took in the world. And the world was never so divided as his own back yard.

He stood on a boundary line, forsaking a security that was rightfully his so that some larger purpose might have its way. He suffered for it, as Christ knows a saint must suffer. If all of heaven was in song when the Son emptied himself of divine vestments to be born in human likeness, the Falls was not singing when one of its own sons shed the Tricolour to be born among the prods. They threw rocks through his windows. They shot his daughter.

Still he stayed. His wife’s nerves gone to hell, and his daughter’s spine pierced by a riot-born bullet, and still the Irishman refuses to yield to the violence that is tearing his community apart. Not that the bullets and rocks miss the mark; his soul is pocked with dents and scuffs. His memory is thick with scar tissue. The lyrical Belfast brogue gives way, sometimes, to a heavy silence, and he stares for hours at the fibers in the carpet or a saucer.

He is impatient as the devil with the cheek of his countrymen. A fidgety, toothless neighbor from down Clonard way who hasn’t worked for years comes to his door every day to eat his bananas and yogurt. He speaks rudely to the company, then slams the door behind him as he leaves with nary a word of thanks. The saint runs his rigid hands over his face and moans at the reverberating door, then slumps to evening prayer.

The dogs on his street leave their droppings on the sidewalk in direct defiance of properly posted signs, and it is they who burden him with the heaviest cross. He stands on the side of his house hosing off the bottom of his shoe again. He looks in the kitchen window at me washing the evening dishes and shakes the exhibit in the air, dangerously close to his reddened face, and pronounces, “I’m sick to death with this!”

This, I think, is the hair shirt that will finally strip away his skin, the irritant to which he will abandon these streets to the devil’s own devices, the stigmata that will devour his faith. Fires and funerals have had their crack at the man and failed; they got in their shots, but they could not topple him. Strikes and protests, murders and threats, the spitting contempt of old ladies and the wide-eyed glee of wicked children: he has survived them all. Only, I fear, to be done in by the dog poop that peppers the Via Delarosa he has worn bare these many years with determined steps.

He punches his foot back into the dripping shoe, and I wonder through the window: was Moses ever tempted to abandon the wilderness over a goat apple? Did Jesus himself ever step in it, then pause a long, hard second before putting his foot back down and stepping one step closer to Jerusalem?

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Friday, February 22, 2008

The Producer (East Coast Edition)

john walker | 10:51 PM | Be the first to comment!
After reading yesterday's post about The Producer on Not Prince Hamlet, the New York Times went ahead and jumped on the bandwagon. You can check out his NY Times page here.
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Thursday, February 21, 2008

The Producer

john walker | 5:11 PM | Be the first to comment!
Not Prince Hamlet congratulates our friend for his inaugural appearance in the Hollywood trade papers. His upstart production company, Scatter Light Productions, has signed on to direct a horror/thriller film called "Curve."

Here's the blurb from the Hollywood Reporter:

"Scatter Light Prods. has picked up 'Curve,' a woman-in-jeopardy thriller from Kimberly Lofstrom Johnson.

The company's founding principal, Chris Billig, and vp production Nathan Miller are producing, as is Neal Flaherty via his newly created Royal Prospect shingle. Chris Bender and J.C. Spink of Benderspink also are producing."

Good work Chris. You can read more about "Curve" at Bloody Disguisting, Killer Movies, Shock Till You Drop, and, of course, Variety.

The film is expected out in 2009.
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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The Missio Flamingo

john walker | 9:23 PM | Be the first to comment!
"To take a thing and make a joke out of it is not to take it in vain. It is, on the contrary, to take it and use it for an uncommonly good object."
G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

Not to stretch this to ridiculous proportions, but running around the community and clandestinely planting lawn flamingos in the yards of the unsuspecting has about it an air of mission.

This is a blatantly public act. And while lawn ornaments hardly compel one to serious religious consideration, consider the buzz appeal that they create. People are asking their neighbors about them; co-workers arriving to carpool want to know how they got there; commuters want in on the act.

Since last Friday I've received phone calls at the church office from five people wanting to "flock" someone. Four of these callers have had absolutely no connection with the congregation, not to mention its youth group. That the gag is a fundraiser for a youth mission trip is only an added bonus, a secondary consideration. The primary appeal is getting in on something that is happening in public.

And that has a certain gospel ring to it.
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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Confirmation Concussion

john walker | 6:31 AM | Be the first to comment!
Months before I was to start at The Church, I got an email from the Head of Staff telling me that one of my first official acts of Associate Pastor-ship would be to take the confirmation class on a weekend retreat. The plans were already made: the cabin was rented, the other adult leader was in place, and the dates were set for the first weekend after I'd started.

I panicked a little. I've never led a confirmation retreat before (I never even participated in confirmation). Also, I didn't know these young people at all, and I would have only a minimal chance to do so before we left. As the dates kept creeping closer and closer on the calendar, my anxiety about it grew worse and worse. It was the perfect setup for me to lay a massive ministerial egg right out of the gate.

But something calmed me down in the run-up to the retreat. Partly that my predecessor, the Interim Associate Pastor who had led the confirmation class since October, was going and would help with the planning, and partly that what I'd seen of the kids themselves was utterly disarming, a calm emerged that made packing a bag and planning 9th grade doctrinal conversations relaxing.

I decided to view the three days as a chance more to form some communal patterns and less to achieve some kind of creedal certainty. We used morning prayer, grace at mealtimes, and evening prayer each day to structure our time together. We went on a hike. We had snowball fights (in which I got struck in the head and began to bleed--better the pastor than one of the kids, right?). And in between, the conversations happened. Question were asked that paved the way to a joint exploration of the scaffolding of faith.

Who is Jesus? What does the "holiness" of the church imply? What is worship for? What's our mission?

Nobody arrived at any answers by the time we left, but these young people and their adult "guides" had begun to seriously reflect on the questions. And, to my mind, that's a promising start to a life together.

And I somehow got to be part of the birthing of a new standard for pastors at The Church: if you're not bleeding, you're not really working.
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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Back in The Saddle (or On Returning To The Pastorate After a Seven-Month Stint As A Waiter

john walker | 7:03 AM | Be the first to comment!
It started on Monday: meetings, files, emails, voicemails, and about 20 pink flamingos staring me in the face.

God help me.
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Friday, February 8, 2008

The Waiter Chronicles: Last Day (redux)

john walker | 7:15 PM | | | | Be the first to comment!
By 1:00 the dining room was dead, so I took off my tie and apron and printed my batch report. Fifteen dollars on three tables: bad. Really bad. So bad that I take a moment to feel some sympathy for Grandpa, Pepe, and Junior. This is what I'm leaving them.

A couple parties of two wandered in a little after 1:00. Grandpa could handle them with his eyes closed, but something sentimental inside made me re-don my apron and take "one last table." Easy stuff. A pizza, a ravioli, coke, iced tea. The women linger over their lunch, and as they do I'm thinking ahead to the rest of the afternoon. I texted Pepe earlier to come up and see me, but he never responded. Oh well.

The rear doorbell rings, and around the back corner comes Junior and What (as we've come to call one of the bussers). Pepe follows soon after, and it becomes clear that they're here for a reason. Finally, the other Owner arrives, windblown from a motorcycle ride from the city, and places are set around table 43. Wine glasses are set and appetizers are ordered.

It's a lunch. The Owners, the waiters, the bussers, and me. I'm choking on the realization.

Pepe asks me what I want to eat, and I tell him, "Whatever you think I should have."

"You ever had the lamb shank?" he asks.

"No." He turns resolutely to the computer and taps in the order, grinning and eagerly pulling at the few hairs that protrude from his chin.

I clock out and ceremoniously return my card to The Owner, who receives it with a broad smile. We all sit and enjoy a fabulous lunch. The Owners have a gift for "la bambina": a pair of baby booties and a Target gift card. I'm touched.

The Owner mandates that I will say a blessing over the capasante, gamberi con fagioli, and calamari that Nando (the other busser) is placing on the table. This is a dear thing about him that I have loved from the beginning. A man of deep skepticism and loud objections to institutional religions, he has a fixed insistence upon the celestial order of things and our part in petitioning the heavens. His pleas for me to pray for him stopped seeming like jokes months ago.

I return thanks for good friends and good gifts, and I ask God's blessings on all of us in the days ahead. At the "Amen," Pepe feigns emotion, placing a clenched fist to his chest and moaning through pursed lips. I pat his shoulder and laugh. All that's left to do is to enjoy the table. Tell funny stories, laugh over-zealously, and pour more wine. It's beautiful, and I don't deserve it.

It's a living tableau of grace, given to the clumsy by the Hell-bent, and shared among people who, months ago, had no reason to care about the existence of one another. When the wife unexpectedly arrives to join in, it can't get any better.

And so it doesn't.
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